If there is one thing I can’t stand it’s a tailgater.  (Okay, I’ll admit there is more than one thing I can’t stand, but tailgaters rank right up there at the top.)  It is annoying to look in my rear view mirror and see another car practically parked in my trunk.  This is because a lot of times I pray when I’m driving and having a car riding my rear bumper is one sure-fire way to get me out of my spiritual mood.  Somehow, muttering, “Get off my tail, you idiot!” in the middle of my prayer lets the good Lord know I wasn’t sincere when I prayed for patience just a moment ago.

It might be somewhat understandable, although still aggravating, if I was a pokey, old biddy out on a Sunday drive going twenty miles below the speed limit in the left hand lane.  But generally, I will readily admit to having somewhat of a lead foot when it comes to driving.  You older folks surely remember the Beach Boys’ song, “The Little Old Lady From Pasadena” (Go Granny, go Granny, go, Granny, go).  Well, that kind of describes me.  “She’s gonna get a ticket now, sooner or later, ’cause she can’t keep her foot off the accelerator.”  So when I’m trucking down the road ten or fifteen miles over the speed limit and there’s some speed demon crawling up my tail pipe, I get irritated.  They have no business going that fast when I’m already speeding!  And, of course, there is never a police car around when the impatient driver behind me either forces me over to the other lane and races away with smoking tires, or leaves me in a cloud of dust after not giving me the chance to move over, and weaves around to pass me.  I usually catch up with them at the next light, so I can’t understand how beating me to the red light is worth their putting my life at risk.

So, what are some fun things I do to rid myself of these annoying pests?  Washing my windshield is one way.  A good, liberal spray of windshield washer fluid applied to my windshield blows back onto THEIR windshield.  I get tickled when I peek in the rear view mirror to see their windshield wipers suddenly come on.  If they don’t get the message at first, I keep on washin’!  Plus, I have a nice, clean windshield.  Another thing I sometimes do is simply remove my foot from the gas pedal and coast- although this tends to drive me crazy, as well, because I don’t like slowing down.  But this technique is usually effective and the tailgater gets the message pretty quickly.   Finally, if I’m really, really ticked off, I flash my lights.  This gives the appearance that I’ve slammed on my brakes and hopefully gives the guy behind me a good scare.

I know I have a bit of passive aggressiveness in me, but at least I’m not resorting to all out road rage.  Plus, I never look over at the other drivers as they pass me, so whatever crude gesture or mean face they make at me is completely lost on me.

I often think what a great world this would be if everyone would just get with the program and be like me.  But alas, the good Lord made people with their own free will, so there will always be those who are irritating.  (Not ME of course).  Nevertheless, I have given you fair warning.  If you see me driving in front of you, BACK OFF!