A popular trend today is having someone else grocery shop for you. Then, you pick up the groceries at the store. You don’t even have to leave your vehicle as the staff loads all the items you ordered into your car for you. (Of course, in my case, this means shoving everything else out of the way in the backseat, as my trunk is full of books.) This idea is apparently gaining momentum because every time I go grocery shopping, I have to dodge the professional shoppers as well as the regular customers who don’t understand grocery store etiquette, which basically amounts to “everyone should get the heck out of my way.”

Although the idea of having someone else grocery shop for me is appealing in theory, I would have a hard time utilizing this service. Having someone shop for me is risky, at best. I know the professional shopper won’t consider that although I specified Oscar Meyer honey ham, Hillshire Farm brown sugar ham has a coupon for a dollar off. Therefore, Hillshire Farm is the product of choice that day. I can’t explain to an impartial shopper how I compare prices to get the best deal regardless of brand—except for those few name brands that I absolutely have to have regardless of price. Does that make sense to anyone but me?

Also, I don’t trust anyone else to pick out my fresh produce. I’m incredibly picky about paying good money for fruits and vegetables. I just know that a professional shopper will try to unload the rotten stuff on me since I’m not there to defend myself. Even if I requested a head of lettuce, I’d rather go without lettuce for a week or two than buy some of those sorry, science-project-looking bunches of wilted leaves some stores try to peddle as lettuce. Apples have to smell just right and have no visible bruises. Bananas cannot have a smidgeon of brown spots on them. Strawberry boxes need to be inspected thoroughly to be sure the moldy ones aren’t lying on the bottom of the carton covered up with beautiful shiny fruit on top. Sweet potatoes have to be a specific size. Professional shoppers cannot know my quirks when it comes to produce.

Another reason I don’t want someone else doing my grocery shopping is because they will only buy what’s on my list. Half of my shopping is impulse buying. Yeah, I know. The experts tell people to make a list and stick to it. But how do I know I need or want something unless I see it? So many products exist that I didn’t even know about until I saw them and realized I wanted them. Are professional shoppers going to dig around in the discounted frozen meats to see what looks good? Will they notice that Keebler has a new cookie I’ve never tried? Or Breyer’s has a new flavor of ice cream? These are important things to consider when leaving decisions up to people who don’t care what you eat or if you expand your culinary horizons.

But I don’t want someone else shopping for me, mainly because this is when Hubby and I spend quality time together. Goodness knows, with our chaotic schedules, we don’t get to spend much time together, but grocery shopping is the closest thing we come to a date day. I even let him push the cart so he can feel macho. Yeah, I know we live a wild and crazy life, with grocery shopping as the highlight of our week. Still, with a professional shopper, we wouldn’t even have the opportunity to bond in the toilet paper aisle. For now, I don’t think I’ll rock the boat.