I just finished reading a book in the genre I’m trying to get published in to help me understand what the publishers are looking for. While I resisted editing in my head through most of the book (okay, that’s not true). I edited almost all the passive sentences in which the author wrote, “She was, it was, there were, etc., repeatedly while trying not to cringe. The author WAS very fond of passive voice, as well as adverbs, such as “very.” Some of her descriptions had me shaking my head, too. I realize authors have to dig deep into their creativity to come up with descriptive words. But when “His face drained,” I had a creepy image in my mind of someone’s skin and muscles melting off their facial bones. And when “grandma’s mouth corners twitched, and her lashes wobbled,” I became concerned she was having a stroke. (Now I have to laugh at myself because I wrote, “She was having a STORK.”) Thank you, autocorrect. So, as I poke fun at other authors, it seems I need to look a little harder at myself.

One of my author friends puts her “typo of the day” on Facebook. Hers are always hilarious. Mine—storks aside—not so much. At least she catches her typos before they go to print. Mine plague me in perpetuity. But lest I berate myself too badly, here are a few mistakes from authors more well-known than I that made it into print:

1. From “The Queen’s Governess” by Karen Harper: “I tugged on the gown and sleeves I’d discarded like a WONTON last night to fall into John’s arms.” (I suddenly have a craving for Chinese food.)

2. “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” by Mark Twain: “I took the bag . . . and ripped a hole in the bottom of it with the WAS.” (Was Mark Twain dyslexic? Do dyslexic atheists believe in a dog?)

3. “The Road” by Pulitzer Prize winner Cormac McCarthy: “He saw him walking along the BENCH down shore.” (Benches on the shore would be nice. Then I wouldn’t have to lug along my beach chair.)

4. “An American Tragedy” by Theodore Dreiser: the characters were “harmoniously abandoning themselves to the rhythm of the music—like two small CHIPS being tossed about on a rough but friendly sea.”(Making me hungry again. But not for soggy chips.)

5. “A Dance with Dragons” by George R.R. Martin: Queen Cersei descends a staircase and says, “I am beautiful,’ she reminded HIMSELF.” (In this day and age, this is not so unusual.)

6. “Twilight” by Stephanie Meyer: “He actually discovered a coven of true vampires that lived hidden in the sewers of the city.” The problem with this sentence is the setting is around 1660 in London before there were any sewers.

7. “Stranger in a Strange Land” by Robert Heinlein: His character’s name goes back and forth between “Alice” and “Agnes.” (Maybe she had a split personality? I accidentally changed a character’s name in a book, but he was only mentioned twice so hopefully nobody noticed. However, if you want to buy all my books and see if you can find the mistake, be my guest!)

8. “The Good Earth” by Pearl S. Buck: “ . . . the small mat sheds clung like FLEES to a dog’s back.” (If you didn’t catch that error, it should say “FLEAS.” I’ve done this with the words “leach” and “leech.” As in: “The color leeched out of his face.” I guess a blood-sucking parasite attached to his face might drain it of color, but it would be more aesthetically pleasing to say, “The color leached from his face.”)

9. Webster’s New International Dictionary- 1934 edition: An editor wrote down the abbreviation for “density” as “D” or “d” to show the letter could be upper or lower case. Another editor removed the spaces to list the word “dord” as a synonym for density. The mistake remained in the dictionary for five years before someone caught it. (Okay, if the leading authority on words makes mistakes, I don’t feel so bad.)

10. And my favorite. A 1631 edition of the King James Bible: “Thou SHALT commit adultery.” The printers subsequently lost their licenses. (Hopefully, no one took the commandment literally. Apparently, nobody had a sense of humor back then.)