DON’T TOUCH THAT CLOCK!

Last night was the dreaded time change.  On one hand, it’s nice to have that extra hour of sleep, even knowing I’ll have to give it back come spring.  But that’s okay.  I might not make it until spring and then I’ll have that net gain of an hour’s sleep. However, it’s not the hour gained or lost which bugs me the most.  It’s the darkness that falls at 4:30.

My body is simply not made for darkness that early in the day.  When the sun goes down, so does my body.  During the week, I look out the window at work at the blackness and think, “It’s really late!  It’s past my bedtime!”  I’m barely able to drive home with my body in sleep mode.  Once home,  making dinner and cleaning up the kitchen requires a Herculean effort.  (Of course this always requires a Herculean effort for me, but it is magnified by the nightfall.)  To think about accomplishing any other tasks, such as checking emails, helping Darion with homework, writing anything that doesn’t sound like it was done with a brain which was half-asleep (no snarky comments, please), or doing household chores is totally out of the question.  All I want to do is curl up on the sofa and watch mindless TV—which is often a challenge because even with 100 channels, there still isn’t anything I want to watch.  I’ve pretty much seen all the 80’s reruns multiple times and haven’t sunk low enough for “My 600 pound life” or “The Real Housewives of Somewhere.”  I guess someone must watch these shows since there seem to be an abundance of them, but even my mindless TV watching has some standards.

I know I have officially hit “old” because just the thought of going out at night is repugnant to me.  (Yes, I know I officially hit “old” long ago, but this is yet one more confirmation of that fact.) If the sun has set, forcing my body to go out into the cold, dark night is tantamount to torture.  (Even if the evening temperatures are still hovering around 65 degrees, for me this is cold, okay?) This is unfortunate in that we have Wednesday night and Sunday night church services, and it looks strange if the pastor’s wife doesn’t show up.  If another evening event gets scheduled, I have to mentally psyche myself up for it.  Even then, I’m likely to fall asleep, which can be particularly embarrassing if it is a dinner event and I face plant into my mashed potatoes.  What happened to the woman who didn’t get her evening started until 9:00 pm?  She somehow turned into the same woman who, upon hearing the phone ring on a Friday night says, “I hope that’s not for me!”

It’s bad enough that I need a nap in the middle of the day.  Now, with the time change, the nap runs into my bedtime.  This is aggravating in and of itself, but on top of everything else, I am not a morning person.  So if I get to sleep in on a Saturday until 10 am, I only have a few hours of daylight before my body shuts down again. Maybe I need to move to one of those places which has the midnight sun.  But from my limited understanding, those areas are really, really cold!  Maybe Arizona, with no time change.

I guess I’ll just have to hibernate until spring.  Please wake me in April.  Or not.

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