I was cruising around online the other day, when an article caught my eye—tacky decorating trends which we need to stop. It was too hard to resist seeing if I fell into any of these decorating faux pas, so I clicked on the article to find out.
Number one was putting plastic over furniture to keep it from getting dirty. I snickered to myself. Yeah, that’s pretty tacky, all right. Who would do that? Every time someone sat, there would be a crinkling noise. Plus, people would stick to the furniture. Number two was shag carpeting. While I admit I liked shag back in its’ day, I have to say my tastes have changed and I would never have shag carpeting today. Number three was vertical blinds. Wait. What? Exactly what is wrong with vertical blinds? We have them in our bedroom and I love them because they don’t gather dust. The article said they were too ‘90’s. So? To me, something less than thirty years old is still new and in style.
I agree the avocado and harvest-gold kitchen appliances and mix-and-match wallpaper should really go the way of the 60’s. But what’s wrong with ruffled shower curtains? I think my ruffled dark blue shower curtains give my bathroom that extra touch of elegance. Who decides these things, anyway? The curtain police? And even though the U-shaped rugs which fit around the toilet are considered tacky in today’s world of bath décor, I would have them if my cats didn’t pee on them. (Do the cats know something I don’t?) Water beds? Yeah, I had one, but I got rid of it a long time ago—not because it was tacky, but because it killed my back.
But good grief, why are china cabinets considered tacky? Where else am I supposed to display all the beautiful china I never use? I want people to know I do own something besides Corelle-ware. I even have real silver silverware, inherited from my grandmother. I’ve never used it because I don’t want to polish it, but by golly, I have it! I just don’t display it because it’s tarnished. I do see how lacy doilies on end tables could be construed as “old-ladyish,” as would heavy dark furniture and uncomfortable formal furniture which looks too delicate to actually sit on. I also agree with wicker furniture (which is never comfortable) and bean bag chairs (likewise) being relegated to the tacky category. But suspended fake house plants? Come on, these are the only plants I can’t kill! And I have to suspend them or my cats will tear them up.
Granite countertop overload I can go along with. I never could afford granite to begin with, so it’s just karma that granite overload is now considered tacky for those countertop snobs who had to have the most expensive kitchen décor to brag about twenty years ago. And fake fruit? Really, what’s the point? Tacky, tacky! Wood paneling—enough said. Ours was removed many years ago, along with the acoustic tile ceiling, which was replaced with popcorn ceilings, which, by the way, are now tacky. I don’t get it. Who wants to look at a plain old white ceiling? Not that I spend a lot of time looking at my ceilings, but in my humble, tacky opinion, the popcorn texture relieves the monotony and gives the ceiling a little bit of pizzazz.
So, by the time I got to the end of the article, I discovered I was committing a number of decorating faux pas. But you know what? At my age, I’m allowed to be a little eccentric in what I like and what I don’t without asking anyone else’s permission. The decorating elistists don’t need to visit me if they don’t like my style. In the infamous words of Rhett Butler, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a d _ _ _!”