As an older parent of a teenager, I often shake my head over the “less than common sense” things Younger Son does. At my age, I should be dispensing advice on how to raise grandchildren, not dealing with my ongoing drama of living with a teen. Younger Son’s days consist of more drama than daytime soaps, which I don’t watch because I get enough drama from him. Aside from the “Friend One said that Friend Two told him that Hopefully Future Girlfriend’s Ex told Girlfriend’s BFF that she thought I was cute,” there are other traits that I have noticed from raising Older Son, along with two pre-made teens that came with Hubby, that appear to be common to teens. (Please excuse the last run-on sentence. My brain is in teen mode.)

For example, why does Younger Son have to get a clean glass to get a second (and third) drink of water within an hour’s time? It doesn’t matter to him. The dish fairy washes the dishes. He knows this because the dishes he leaves all over the house magically appear clean in the cupboard. He also leaves a tablespoon of juice in the juice carton, so we can’t tell that he drank the whole container that was supposed to last the entire family for a week in one evening. He does the same thing with cookies and chips, leaving a bag filled with air and crumbs on the shelf. If he spills something, he feels the proper thing to do is exit the area quickly before someone accuses him of spilling something and asks him to clean it up, especially if it stains. Or pick up the ice cubes he dropped on the floor. At my age, slipping on ice could be fatal.

After reassuring us multiple times he has everything he needs for his band trip, church retreat, overnight away game, etc., he waits to reveal (at bedtime) the night before he is to leave that his uniform pants don’t fit. Oh, and by the way, he also needs new black shoes. This scenario is repeated so often that one would think we, as parents, would be wiser—such as ascertaining he has everything he needs for his class project due tomorrow before bedtime. He also repeatedly tells us he did something we asked him to do until he remembers, oh, wait, maybe he forgot.

And why—I wish someone would enlighten me—is the bathroom floor always littered with clothing and used towels when a perfectly good clothes hamper is sitting right there for his convenience? While we are on the subject of towels, why is it that Hubby and I can use the same towel for a week by hanging it up on the towel rack designed for the purpose of drying used towels? In contrast, Younger Son (and the teens who preceded him) always store used towels on the bathroom floor? It’s not like we haven’t demonstrated the art of hanging a towel. But, like the dish fairy, we also have a laundry fairy at our house who picks up and magically restores soiled clothing and linens to a pristine state. If, in the process of yanking a shirt from a hanger, the clean shirt next to it falls on the floor, where it will languish until the laundry fairy takes pity on it and either re-hangs or re-washes it.

The whole house is at Younger Son’s fingertips—literally. Worn clothing ends up wherever he sheds it. Food wrappers and drink containers (often half full) are discarded wherever he finishes with them. I don’t think he’s ever discovered the trash cans we have all over the house. Every surface, including the dining room table, coffee table, chairs, sofa, kitchen counters, beds, and dressers, is fair game to dump school work, sports equipment, grooming products, and anything else he can’t figure out where to put away. When he leaves items on the porch, he places them directly in the path from the steps to the driveway so elderly parents can trip over them and break their necks.

Sometimes, I think how dull our lives would be without Younger Son around to liven things up. Then I think dull might not be so bad.

Here are some quotes about teenagers that truly hit the mark:
1. “Nature gives us twelve years to develop a love for our children before turning them into teenagers.” – William Galvin (paraphrased)
2. “Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years.” – Anonymous
3. “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant, I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the
old man had learned in seven years.” – Josh Billings
4. “I am not young enough to know everything.” – Oscar Wilde
5. “The young always have the same problem—how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.” – Quentin
Crisp
6. “Teenagers complain there’s nothing to do, then stay out all night doing it.” – Bob Phillips
7. “A teenager is always too tired to hold a dishcloth, but never too tired to hold a phone.” – Anonymous
8. “There is nothing wrong with today’s teenager that twenty years won’t cure.” – Anonymous
9. “A boy becomes an adult three years before his parents think he does, and about two years after he thinks he does.” – Lewis B. Hershey
10. “Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn’t have anything to do with it.” – Haim Ginott