Remind me not to consult an orthopedic surgeon for joint pain ever again. You’d have thought I’d have learned my lesson long ago, but no. Hopeful that the WD-40 the doctor injected into Hubby’s knee would also work miracles on the arthritis in my thumbs, I made an appointment—only to be told that the WD-40 didn’t work well in thumb joints because they are too small. (Like they couldn’t have just told me that information on the phone?)

Instead, I got a list of over-the-counter medications that I’ve already tried, a recommendation for an expensive thumb brace that helped my thumb pain but tortured the rest of my hand, and . . . wait for it, a referral to physical therapy.

It seems that no matter how many times I’ve had orthopedic pain, the bottom line is that I end up in an endless loop of physical therapy appointments, which, after a while, make me more willing to just put up with the pain. But PT for THUMBS? Yep, folks, there is PT for thumbs.

The very nice physical therapist explained to me how strengthening the muscles around my thumb could help with the pain. So, she sent me home with a set of exercises to do twice a day to build up my thumb muscles. That’s right. While other people are sculpting abs, glutes, or biceps, I’ll be out here getting jacked thumbs.

Now I will readily admit that I have many neglected body muscles that could use a little work. If I were to get serious about toning and strengthening my muscles, my upper arms would come first to mind. My upper body strength is almost non-existent. Once upon a time, I could bench press (okay, lift) an eighty-pound dog onto an exam table. Now I struggle to lift a twenty-pound dog, which may be why I own Chihuahuas.

My leg muscles are another area of my body that could use some help. It’s embarrassing to go to the gym and have to move the weights back on the equipment from 240 pounds to ten. I would move them to five pounds, but double digits is as low as they go—which is probably why I haven’t been to the gym since Covid. That, and it’s hard to find a parking place out front.

Of course, my core muscles in my abdomen and back are also rather flabby. Forget sit-ups. These days, heaving myself off the couch qualifies as an ab workout and is as much as those babies are going to get. And, now that I think about it, getting up off the couch seems to be getting harder.

But THUMBS? Really? Who on earth is impressed by toned thumbs? I’ll bet nobody’s ever said, “Wow, check out the guns on those opposable digits.” Yet, here I am, dutifully doing my thumb squats because I’m sure the PT lady will know if I slack off. But I’m wondering if thumb muscles are supposed to be sore after exercise. I guess I’ve turned into that person who walks around town flexing my thumbs like mini bodybuilders.

If you see me out and about, please do me a favor and boost my ego by complimenting me on my buff, beefy, Hulk-like thumbs. It will take away the pain.