While scrolling through Facebook, the other day, I came across an article: “21 Ways You’re Hurting Your Dog’s Feelings Without Meaning To.”

Naturally, as the professional animal expert, I clicked on it to see what I’ve been doing wrong all these years. Because if there’s one thing social media excels at, it’s making you feel guilty about things you didn’t even know were wrong five seconds ago.

I was halfway expecting the article to reveal that I had permanently traumatized every dog I’ve ever owned simply by existing. According to the post, dogs are deeply wounded when we do things like leaving the house without them, failing to share our food, or daring to stop petting them before their emotional tank is completely full.

One of the canine complaints said that dogs don’t like it when we humans ignore their attempts to communicate. Okay, I’ll admit that I sometimes yell, “Get down!” when they are scratching the bejeebers out of my legs. The article says to “Take time to acknowledge your dog when they’re trying to get your attention, even if you can’t play right away.” Uh, what? I don’t know about you, but I’d feel a little silly saying, “I know you dogs are scratching my legs to get my attention, but it HURTS, so I’d appreciate it if you’d find more constructive ways to let me know I’m loved.” Especially when what they’ll hear is, “Wawa . … wa…wawawa,” like the adults in the Charlie Brown cartoons.

Another complaint was skipping regular veterinary care. Again, what? Granted, I, as the doggie health-care professional, understand this one. Responsible owners should do everything they can to ensure their dogs are healthy. But I don’t think many dogs get their feelings hurt when the trip to the vet gets cancelled.

A third way we are hurting our dogs’ feelings is by disrupting their sleep. My dogs never complained when I woke them up to take them for a walk, let them outside, or feed them. Their disrupting MY sleep, however, by barking at anything and everything in the early dawn hours, hurts MY feelings. But do THEY care?

How about the dogs’ grievance at humans not respecting their personal space? I glanced over at my own dogs. They were sprawled across the furniture like furry royalty who had just conquered a small country. One was curled up on MY blanket, snoring loudly. The other had managed to occupy three-quarters of the couch (quite the accomplishment when you only weigh six pounds) while I sat on the remaining six inches, like an uninvited guest who had overstayed her welcome.

Yes, clearly, these are deeply oppressed animals. The list continued.

Another offense? Not letting them sniff enough on walks. Come on! Anyone who has walked a dog knows the sniffing situation is already out of control. What begins as a brisk stroll quickly turns into a slow-moving forensic investigation of every blade of grass within a three-mile radius. If I allowed unlimited sniffing, we would leave the house in the morning and return sometime around Thursday.

Still, the list made me stop and think. Not because I truly believe my dogs are emotionally devastated by my failure to share my sandwich. (Although THEY are convinced of it.) But because dogs have a remarkable ability to love us without keeping score. They forgive quickly. They greet us like heroes when we come home, even if we only left for two minutes to get the mail.

So, if I accidentally hurt my dogs’ feelings by not letting them sniff every bush, claw my legs, or usurp my spot on the couch, I suspect they’ll survive.

Especially if I make it up to them with a treat. Or two. Or possibly the entire sandwich. Because let’s be honest—if anyone in this house has hurt feelings, it’s the human who yet again discovered the dog poop on the carpet.