After my husband’s last colonoscopy, the doctor said he needed more fiber in his diet. Funny, that’s the same thing he said after Hubby’s previous colonoscopy. The doctor needs to stop repeating himself. So, we came home and dug out the Metamucil wafers we had dutifully bought on the road to good intentions to better colon health several years ago. There were two unopened boxes on the shelf that expired in 2015.
“I suppose we’d better pitch these and get some new ones,” I told Hubby, somewhat reluctantly. It wasn’t like they were that out of date, and besides, those things are expensive.
So off we went to the store in search of fiber supplements. Figuring that it was just a matter of another year or so before my next colonoscopy and I was likely to hear the same advice about increasing fiber in my diet, I decided to be pre-emptive and join Hubby in his fiber crusade. I picked up a box of Metamucil wafers, weighing the option between the yummy choices of apple crisp and cinnamon spice, but distinctly remembering from my past experience the wafers tasting like cardboard. Not only that, but the dry, unpalatable fiber supplements stuck snuggly to my teeth in a most unpleasant manner. Still, I was prepared to make whatever sacrifices were necessary to make my large intestine happy, including cavities, until I read the nutritional content. Two wafers contain 100 calories! That’s right, 100 calories! And they only supply 20% of recommended daily fiber. Oh, heck no. There’s no way I’m wasting my allotted daily calories on cardboard-tasting wafers. I’ll go gnaw on the real thing first.
Then a bottle of sugar-free fiber gummies caught my eye. Each gummy contains five calories. Okay, that’s more like it. We bought a bottle and took it home to try. The gummies come in colorful fruit-flavored squares. The first morning, as I shook out our required two gummies, I noticed there was a distinct overabundance of yellow gummies and a distinct paucity of red and purple ones. Being a good and loving wife, I did the noble thing and ate the yellow ones while saving the good-tasting ones for Hubby.
Older Son recently discovered our bottle of fiber gummies on the dining room table.
“Hey, is it okay if I take some of these?” he asked.
“Of course,” I told him. After all, although Older Son treats his body as a temple (an historic crumbling one), I don’t want to deny him healthy bowels.
Hubby, upon overhearing the exchange replied, “Tell him he can only have the yellow ones.”