A few weeks ago, I had another book signing at the BX at Hurlburt. I appreciate the opportunity to get out in public to “peddle my books,” although, in my opinion, they should be best-sellers simply by virtue of the fact that they are so good. People should be lined up at my table like they are at Starbucks. Still, the experience always humbles me, allows me to have interesting conversations with a lot of people, and gives me ideas for another blog. This time was no different.

One of the more embarrassing things I did this time was call out to people who had already walked by my table, asking them if they liked to read. In my defense, I can’t remember all the people who walk by and don’t stop. Finally, one man said, “This is the third time you’ve asked me, so I guess I’d better buy a book.” Okay, I’ll take what I can get, even if the sale did result from harassment. The gentleman and I had a great conversation, and I apologized profusely for badgering him. Another embarrassment was asking a lady who had already bought a book if she liked to read. Well, why was she walking back and forth in front of me? Plus, she was with a man who she hadn’t been with earlier and was half-hidden beside him.

Another man stopped by my table and asked, “Why are you only selling books by THAT author?” He understood when I explained I was THAT author. And there were still a few who said they’d never heard of me! Can you believe it?

When I asked one lady if she liked to read, she replied, “Yes, but not that type of book,” without even stopping to see what “type” of books I had. If she had stopped, she would have seen I had three different genres since I can’t decide what genre I want to write. (Or, perhaps more accurately, because I’m that multi-talented as an author.) Another lady, when asked if she liked to read, said, “Yes, I love to read, but not today.” What did that mean? She didn’t like to read on Thursdays, or just this particular day? What if she came back the next day when I would be selling again? Would she love to read on THAT day? Okay, I’m not that dense. I know what she really meant—she wasn’t interested in looking at my books. It’s just that her refusal came across as rather amusing, which is why one must be careful when interacting with authors. Anything people say or do may be used against them and is fair game for a blog.

Others let me down in more subtle ways. One lady walked by and said, “I hope you sell a lot of books,” as she continued on her way. I appreciated the encouragement, but I would have appreciated it more if she had stopped to look at my books. A man told me, “I forgot my wallet.” Sure, as if I believed he was out driving and shopping without his wallet. The ones who are really disappointing are the ones who promise they’ll “come back tomorrow” or “stop on my way out.” Come on, don’t give me false hope. Just say “no.” I’m a big girl, I can take the rejection. Sort of. I’m always dumbfounded whenever someone actually does stop on their way out. Bless them. And, of course, I’m so grateful for those who do buy books. They make my day.

One lady stopped and asked about my books. As I was discussing them with her, she kept backing away. Hmm. What does that body language say? Another regaled me for several minutes about her dyslexia. Okay, buy one of my audiobooks. I’ve also concluded that a number of people are deaf. They continue walking past as if I never spoke to them.

I figured since I had such humorous experiences, other authors must, too. So, I posed the question on a writer’s social media platform. Here are a few responses:

1. From Nan Carlton: “Are you a REAL author?” I want to respond, “No, but I slept at a Holiday Inn Express last night.”

2. From Joan Morris Borton: “My book is about marriage. I get lots of questions if I am a matchmaking service or they tell me how many marriages they had that failed and they’ve sworn off marriage.”

3. And, just to show that it’s not just authors who have funny experiences with the public:
From Theresa Parker Pierce: “I haven’t had a book signing, but I am a historic docent. You wouldn’t believe the crazy things people say to me. One time I was presenting next to a clown, literally a clown. Someone asked me if I was married to him. After I burst out laughing, I said in my mind, ‘I’m married to a different clown.’”